my brother once accidentally locked himself in a dog cage and starting snapchatting photos for help till my mum and dad had to drive over and free him
did I fail to mention my brother is a 25 year old man
WAKE UP POTTER
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO
this urn will turn you into a tree after you die
and you can choose what kind of tree you want to become
just imagine cemeteries looking like this
life after death
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTthis is how all cemeteries should look. its awkward to hug a gravestone. imagine hugging your grandma/tree. ugh rebuild all cemeteries
And then the trees get chopped down to make paper. And that paper gets made into books. Because we’re all just stories in the end.
"Mom I don’t feel well I cant go to school"
that was the worst pun ever but im laughing
why are 12-15 year olds so obnoxious they roam in packs and they’re so loud for no reason i can’t wait for one of your moms to pick you up and carpool you all away
tryin to clean my house and listen to Beyonce at the same time
I didn’t almost break my neck for 4 notes you fuckers
"Fuck you, Metatron."
making new friends like
i am constantly amazed by straight dudes but not in like a good way